As it has been explained in a Hadith, the most precious gift the father can give to his children is a good upbringing. In the current age, the parents must be extra careful about parenting and good upbringing of their children as the outside world is full of disastrous things that can lead them astray and permanently destroy their lives.

Author and parenting expert Muhammad Zubair said this during a podcast on the issues of parenting in the modern age, which was published on the YouTube page of Off The School.

 If we did not take care of our children, today’s toxic digital culture would slowly snatch them away from us, he warned, adding that billions of dollars were being invested just to keep children addicted to screens and computer games — and those who generated profit from it did not care at all if children were becoming mentally unwell due to excessive gaming. 

“Whether a child becomes addicted, aggressive, or loses their sense of right and wrong — it doesn’t matter to them,” the guest said as he conversed with hosts Najam Soharwardi, Rana Asif and Shamsuddin Hassan Shigri.

Zubair also highlighted other dangers of the current age where through direct and indirect marketing, children are taught to believe that they must look a certain way in order to be accepted by society.

“They’re proud of building a $650 billion industry designed to make your children believe that they must look a certain way to be accepted. They tell your daughters: ‘You’ll only be worthy if you look beautiful. To look beautiful, you must use this cream… get this surgery… look like this.’”

He said the parents should realise that if they did not take care of their children and help them grow into noble and disciplined human beings, someone else would shape their minds. 

Zubair said the parents must know how social media can damage the character of their children. “If you want to become famous on social media, then start using abusive words. Start throwing mud on others, talk nonsense. The more abuse you get, the more famous you’ll become. This is a negative way to get fame quickly,” he said.

He explained that the parents should act as leaders, guardians and providers and they should keep this in mind that being the guardians, they would be held accountable in the hereafter for the upbringing of their children. 

To explain leadership, Zubair talked about ‘Care and Growth’ model, which says that true leaders genuinely care for their people, and help them grow and achieve targets. 

The guest advised the parents to act with kindness with their children but at the same time maintain their authority. The parents should always listen to their children and spend quality time with them, he added.

“The kids have developed a mindset where they just say ‘we will do whatever we want,’” Zubair said citing the example of famous Indian film 3 Idiots that gave a similar message. He added that it was not a practical attitude and Dangal was a better movie to take inspiration from because it was based on reality.

“The foundation of good parenting is that you are happy. We mistakenly believe that once we have success, money, or good relationships, we’ll be happy. But in reality, it’s the other way around. People who are happy are usually more productive and successful,” Zubair said, however, interestingly, he did not realise that it was the core theme of 3 Idiots.

Muhammad Zubair has written several books. One of the key messages of his books is the importance of gratitude. According to him, gratitude is the most essential value, especially if one wanted to become a good parent and raise children well.

The guest discussed some of his books on the podcast such as his second book, which is titled ‘Parwarish’, in which he explains that a confident child is someone who thinks generously and is willing to share their thoughts and ideas openly. 

In his fourth book, Zubair emphasised the importance of maintaining a daily routine. It introduces a chart-based system where children can mark their completed tasks each day, helping build discipline and accountability.

The author told the hosts that he was currently working on his fifth book to be titled ‘My Mother’s Diary’. The book would focus on how parents and children can have meaningful conversations.